on a whim…

So yes i created a blog

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…the L word or something like it

Love is a truly terrible emotion it really is though I can understand why we all pursue it. It is is ultimate addiction and it is a connection every species have. All living creatures crave affection and companionship in some way, from birth to death we all chase this. So yes I can understand why…

…my morning cup of joe

I have nine (9) drafts saved for every time I started a post and was unable to finish. It has been a month, how has everyone been? My life has been confusing as hell of late but it is not unmanageable. My depression is at its all time worse and I have completely isolated myself,…

…update, life and the next step for my blog

It’s been a while since I have updated my blog. The reason isn’t only because I’ve been terribly busy but also because I’ve been rethinking the content of my blog. To date all my posts has been focused on my life which I truly don’t mind, but then I consider not only my first post…

…my first week at work and depression 

My first week at my new job has come to an end. It passed pretty quickly to be honest. Between the orientations, passes being issued and access being granted it just flew by. So far it’s been great, my coworkers seem nice and my employers as well. They changed my job title to ‘Administrative Coordinator’…

…how I plan to prepare for my new job

I am excited to work in an office again I must admit. Working from home was great but it got me sort of too laid back, I am excited to wake up early get dressed and catch a bus to work (as I don’t yet own a vehicle). I am excited to be working with…

…my eating habits

So I have recently begin practicing  cooking again. I enjoy cooking, planning a meal, seeing it all come together, having others eat and enjoy my meals. I enjoy all this immensely and honestly as much as I enjoy cooking I had come to dislike the action of doing it. I eventually came to hate being…

…so better things can come together

Again I will begin a post with this saying “sometimes things fall apart so that better things can come together”. It is very difficult to believe this when one is struggling with the reality of things falling apart. As I wrote in my previous post, I lost my job and became extremely depressed as a…

…sometimes things fall apart

So that better things can come together. I’m positive you’ve all heard this at some point in your life. It is the absolute worse advice you can give to anyone ever during one of the worst moments of their lives. It helps in no way and most times goes through one ear and comes out…

…I’m still here

It’s been a while from me and for that I apologize. This isn’t an update exactly it is just a note from me to my followers letting you know I am still here. I am just working through some major life changes which has for some reason rendered me unable to write. Severe writers block…

Dear Diary

The past couple of days has been extremely difficult for me, many times I have struggled to take the next breath and keep moving forward. The weight of my expectations and responsibilities has become so large that I am crumbling under it. What do I do? Everything hurts …everything. The amount of failure I have…

…my mothers hands

As a child I blamed my mother for so many of my woes as an adult I have come to understand that parents are also human, prone to flaws and mistakes like everyone else. I think the child in me was crushed when my mother stepped off the pedestal I had placed her on. But…